I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
