I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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