I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
