I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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