that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
