People with herpes should wear stickers.
Do vagina's smell?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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