You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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