You made me cry and you don't even care
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
