new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
