You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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