There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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