are you still at the devil's house?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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