drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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