She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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