How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
