just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
