We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
