You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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