If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize