You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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