So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
