You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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