I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
