I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
