Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
