How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
