Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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