we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
