Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
