my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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