When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
