The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
