i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
