either way he was missing a nipple.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
