she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
