im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
