One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
