My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
