i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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