i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize