i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
