just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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