4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Someone came in the potted fern
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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