You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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