I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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