oh god the rape fog is back!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
