she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
