worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize