i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
BRING THE BAGELS
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
