That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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