my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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