Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
