can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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