so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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