Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
