Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
