Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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