im drinking this country out of the recession.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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