people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
