I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
